Practical Advice
by Anthony Solomita, February 2007

I have some practical advice to give to some of the younger short men that have stumbled upon this site. I think I feel worse for them than myself because I am older and grew up at a time when television and movies made an attempt at being responsible. I'm 40 now and I can remember growing up that people said “It's what’s inside that counts”. Nobody makes that pretense anymore in America and the young short men today have to deal with an accepted shallow world.

I am 5’ 4” and have had many bad experiences. I wont go into them because if you have read a few essays on this site you will have already heard them. They are common to all of us. I think what bothers me most is the isolation from the experiences. If you make an attempt at telling people what you're going through they dismiss it as being all in your mind. That’s what bothers me most. At least if I was part of an accepted minority I would have other people in the same boat to talk with.

One good advice I read is to develop a non physical part of yourself. I am an artist and it probably has saved me. I can retreat into that world. Becoming involved in something like art, music, history, collecting etc will give you some refuge.

Probably the best thing that happened to me growing up is that I didn’t know about height discrimination. I just assumed like everyone said that it was all in my mind and I just kept trying. Not being aware of the problem allowed me to pursue things instead of accepting my victimhood. I did get married (divorced now). I did get girlfriends although most of my life has been spent alone.

At 40 I've lost the appeal of youth that I once had. Youth is attractive by nature especially to older women which I had a couple of.

Here is the practical advice part. I think the biggest setback to being short is attracting women. What I've read on this site only confirms my belief. You're going to have a low chance of getting an American woman. They are part of the shallow country we live in now. What I've found is that Asian women are more open to short men, in particular Thai women. Look at the percentages on this site. It says that 40% or so are open to marrying or dating a short man. I've been to Thailand 3 times in the past year. I can confirm this.

I now have a fiancé (25 years old Thai). I won't delude myself into thinking that she picked me because I'm the most handsome guy in the world. There is an economic factor to her decision to but so what? Women are attracted to tall men because they are “the protector”. There is another half to that equation. Its called “the provider” and women are attracted to that as well. Every short man reading this who is miserable owes it to themselves to go to Asia. Thailand is a great place. Call it a vacation, call it research, just go. Try an online dating service for Thai women. Be careful, there are a lot of bad girls out there but there are many that legitimately want to be loved and to be provided for.

Now I don’t even look at American women. Once you’ve experienced being in a country that doesn't discriminate, you won't either.